Just for testing what such meditation means I stopped meditating for approx a week (last week) and soon after I felt my angry self coming out of the shadow into the light of reality. I started feeling uneasy, agitated, being rude to my customers, rude towards my wife I even made her cry last night ...
If you can pinpoint the trigger for that anger - the 'external' stimulus, which prompt you to react with anger (maybe you already know what it is); then you could work towards finding a healthy, non-harmful, non-destructive
physical expression/release for that energy...
I think then, your 'internal' work - meditation etc... rather than using to 'keep your head on' (if that makes sense); would then develop into a compartmentalised time of day (I mean your meditation) which you could look forward too... as though you were looking forward to meeting someone that you're in love with... know what it's when you're freshly in love... suddenly those daily irritants seem like nothing... your consciousness is expanded... you have a certain freedom.... which makes everything simply slide off you... and in looking forward to that special meditation time of day.... that in itself leads to
easy mindfulness/awareness etc...
Just some thoughts
Equally friendly,
Strawberry
